SHARE What happens to your happiness and satisfaction with your life in the years following a potentially major life event such as getting married or divorced or having a child or becoming unemployed? Social scientists have been doing a lot of research on that question. If the currently-married people differ from the other people — in happiness, for example — we cannot conclude that they are different because they are married. People who are married and people who are not married may differ in all sorts of other ways such as financial resources or experiences of stigma — getting stereotyped, excluded, or discriminated againstand it may be those ways, rather than marriage, that accounts for any differences in happiness.
No wonder so many people are single. A few years ago, I spoke to a group of high-schoolers about the Jewish idea of love. I'll define it, and you raise your hands if you agree. Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person.
And I thought, Oy. This is how many people approach a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation based on physical and emotional attraction that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr.
And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.
The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.
Love is the result of appreciating another's goodness. The word "goodness" may surprise you. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. But in her study of real-life successful marriages The Good Marriage: How and Why Love LastsJudith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding.
What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others. God created us to see ourselves as good hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings.
So, too, we seek goodness in others. Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent all of which count for something may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love.
You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person and everyone has some. If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.
I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all.
This man naturally saw the good in others, and our being there said enough about us that he could love us. Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love.
Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. But seeing goodness is the beginning. By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David.
When she called her parents to tell them the good news, they were elated. At the end of the conversation, her mother said, "Darling, I want you to know we love you, and we love David.
Actions Affect Feelings Now that you're feeling so warmly toward the entire human race, how can you deepen your love for someone? The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most. For example, if you want to become more compassionate, thinking compassionate thoughts may be a start, but giving tzedaka charity will get you there.
While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth as Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes in his famous discourse on loving kindness is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love. Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.
True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements.Latter-day Saints believe that monogamy—the marriage of one man and one woman—is the Lord’s standing law of marriage. 1 In biblical times, the Lord commanded some of His people to practice plural marriage—the marriage of one man and more than one woman.
2 Some early members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also received and obeyed this commandment given through .
Essay on In The Pursuit of Happiness. Individuals try to find happiness, but like water or air, it is hard to clench in your hands. As defined in Merriam-Webster (), happiness is a . Lifting the Veil An Investigative History of the United States Pathocracy.
Researched and Written by Timothy M. Silver “I know the capacity that is there to make tyranny total in America. Growing Up In A Single-Parent Family - Growing Up In A Single-Parent Family With the divorce rate as high as it is, more and more children are growing up in single-parent families.
As a result many people will look for love outside of marriage, which is a threatening factor by itself. Overall, only optimum combination of factors analyzed could guarantee the . Marriage The most important quality of a married couple is love.
In a marriage important issues such as attitudes, responsibilities, religion, finances, career, and whether or not to have children should be discussed so that the couple can learn each other’s views regarding the issues to .